My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
