Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
