Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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