who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
