Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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