No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
