I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
