Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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