I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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