smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
