Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
