Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
