She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
