I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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