you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
