Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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