So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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