I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
