bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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