That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
