She's JV to your varsity
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize