pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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