are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
