I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
