let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
