You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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