The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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