I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
