she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
