You were right. It hurts to walk today.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
