Do you still have your period?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Of course I have a pirate flag
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
