Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize