she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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