Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
