How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
