Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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