is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
