We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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