And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I love you. Go after that dick
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
