Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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