You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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