I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
