its not stalking. its research.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
