the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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