I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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