I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Text me some of your sweat
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
