I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
