we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
