You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
