My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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