she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I deserve this hangover.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
