She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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