moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
