if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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