Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
