Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
