this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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