My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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