I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
