I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
