I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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