Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
