It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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