she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i came on her dog
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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