Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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