Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
