There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
