apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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