Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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