So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Randomize
