Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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