he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
