Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize