Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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