She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Panties = found
Randomize
