Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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