Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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