ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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