I want to have your abortion
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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