It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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