Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
