There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
He passed out mid-signature
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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