around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
